"And coming down the stretch, Delaware is in the lead, nosing ahead of New York on the back of Christine O'Donnell's campaign against Human-Mouse Hybrids."
This seems too fantastical to be true. Unfortunately for Delawaroids, it is true.
In a 2007 appearance on The O'Reilly Factor, Ms. O'Donnell warned us against the dangers of stem cell research and let us know that here, in the US, American scientific companies "are cross-breeding humans and animals and coming up with mice with fully functioning human brains."
Putting aside for the moment the physical difficulty of a human "breeding" with a mouse, even using artificial insemination, let's focus on the real threat.
THE TYRANNY OF THE MOUSE-MEN!
Our laws were NOT written to address this issue. This is a real problem!
How will equal protection apply to these hybrids? Will they get one-mouse-one-vote? And since they are both men and mice, do they get TWO votes?
Soon they'll come out of the cupboard, and they'll want "special rights," like the removal of traps and the right to marry cat-women (GROSS!). This is serious, people!
Thank God for Christine O'Donnell and her commitment to stand up to the mouse-men-movement. If not for her, you know what would happen. They would start out small, running for local offices like "city planner." The next thing you know, all of our streets will be re-directed to flow like mazes, and then where will you be? Lost and completely dependent on mouse-man ingenuity!
That's how they get you! They make you think they're just like you and me, and then BAM! - they've got your cheese!
Christine did not say where this heresy took root, but come on! We all know it had to have started in Wisconsin, with their cheese and their "Midwestern family values." But regardless of where this all started, we know the goal of these rodent people. They will not stop their infiltration of our society until they have a mouse-man (or mouse-woman) in the White House. And that's just NOT what our founding father's - or GOD - intended!
No comments:
Post a Comment