My mother is somewhat mortified by the fact that I have a blog. She doesn't like the title and she doesn't like that I express my opinions so freely. She worries that I'm going to say something to embarrass her or bring death threats onto me. As to my safety, I told her the 9 people who read this blog are very nice and would never do such a thing. As to whether or not she should be embarrassed, well, read on...
The title of this blog, Above Your Raisin', might suggest that I had to undergo some sort of evolution to be the liberal thinker I am today, that I was, in contrast, raised to be a right-winger. Superficially, that might seem true. I grew up in Mobile, Alabama attending a pentecostal church. The average white girl with that background is not a liberal, pro-choice, pro-marriage-equality, pro-pot-legalization, semi-socialist who demands the separation of church and state. She is not someone who travels to attend Adam Lambert concerts or votes Democrat. She is not someone who moved across the US without a job to start a life outside the South. She is not me. (I know "I" is correct here, but it sounds weird. So I went with "me.".
I am sure there are many reasons I am different than expected. Part of it is my personality. I am a thinker and I question things. Things that are rational and logical appeal to me. Things that defy logic and reason repel me. I recall sitting around a table when I was in college with some fellow students from church and someone brought up the issue of flag burning. Many at the table were enraged at the idea that someone would burn a US flag. My view was (and is) that burning a flag is a form of protest and, what's more, doesn't actually hurt anyone. It's not something I think I would ever do, but I have no real reason to keep anyone else from doing it. If anyone agreed with me, I don't remember it. But I found their position to be purely emotional and devoid of any rational purpose. How is the country better if we keep people from burning flags? How is it worse if we don't? I still don't get it. That's when I knew I was out of step with my "community."
But a large part of the reason I am the way I am is my parents. Though taking me to one of the most conservative denominations you can imagine, my parents never engaged in some of the harsher aspects of evangelical rhetoric. The morality they took from it, and tried to pass on to me, included things like honesty, integrity, kindness, and love and respect of others. They did not engage in judgment or condemnation of gays, people of different faiths, or people of other cultures and races, although some of this did come down from the pulpit. When I refer to getting Above My Raisin', I am not talking about my parents. I am talking about the community in which I grew up - the South.
Here's an example: April is Confederate History Month thanks to Virginia Governor McDonnell. *sigh* Why are we celebrating slavery? Is it not bad enough that we have that blemish on our national soul? Why do we have to flaunt it in the face of our African-American friends and neighbors? (And it is about slavery. Don't pretend it's about big white houses, oak trees and hoop skirts. You can have those now. The only reason to celebrate the Confederacy is to give the finger to black people.) The fact that I see the insult and absurdity in Confederate History Month that is completely lost on others is a sign that I have gotten Above My Raisin'.
The phrase "Above Your Raisin'" is a shortened version of the caution, "Don't get above your raisin'," and is intended to mean that you shouldn't get "too big for your britches" or act prideful or haughty. It is a reminder to "not forget where you came from." Well, what if I want to forget where I came from?
Sometimes, to get Above Your Raisin' means to survive intact. While the world is big and complicated and people believe different things, and it is possible sometimes to overlook those differences, sometimes thriving requires saying goodbye to the poisonous, the toxic, and the hateful. It means turning your back on things that are destructive.
The last pentecostal church service I attended (other than a family funeral)
included a sermon on sexual immorality wherein the preacher equated a
homosexual relationship with bestiality. And I'm not talking about a
vague reference to Leviticus. After telling the story of a woman defending her gay
daughter, he relayed to us that he said TO HER, "What would you do if you
came home one day and found your daughter having sex with a dog?" Even for evangelical homophobes, that was beyond the pale. Or so I thought. A chorus of "Amens" answered him back.
It is perhaps ironic to have an epiphany that results in never going
back to a particular church. But my moment of clarity that day was
profound: there was no love in that body, only judgment and condemnation; and I would not be a part of it any longer.
My Mom doesn't like the title of my blog because, I assume, it suggests I came from a place that is bad. Well, it is. But not really worse than most places. There is ignorance-a-plenty all over the world. I have blogged about ignorant shenanigans in the North, South, East, West, and every direction in between. I will continue to do so.
But this blog is an homage to Mom and Dad who took the Christian parts of what was taught in church and made sure it got passed on to me, leaving behind the culture-war portions that inflamed the congregations. I might have been fine had I continued to attend the pentecostal church. But I wouldn't have been happy and I wouldn't have found peace there. And if faith cannot give you peace, what is the point? So I got Above My Raisin'. You might even say I rose above it. Thanks to the parents who raised me.